Six common sentences that come out passive or aggressive. Rewrite each one in your voice, with rationale. The muscle you build is "I have a position, and I can name it."
Assertiveness is a skill, not a personality. Most anxious communicators learned one of two defaults — passive or aggressive — and missed the third. Practice makes the third legible to you.
If your rewrite still feels passive or aggressive, that's data — keep rewriting. The goal isn't the first attempt, it's the version that sounds like you and the version that holds.
Assertiveness won't help if the other person isn't safe. In abusive or controlling dynamics, the right move is often less assertiveness, not more.
Often because it includes a softener ("just," "I was wondering if maybe"). Try removing the softener. The meaning usually survives.
No — but pair it with "I need" or "I'm asking for." Feeling without asking often dissolves into the conversation.